saat semua mata bertanya
saat semua ucap mengasihani
diri yang tak merasa lara
apalagi sengasara
parau hati tak tertandingi
ketika jiwa mempertanyakan diri
tak berdaya
tak bisa mengimbangi
hanya bisa jalani
hari demi hari
karena sudut selalu diberi
pada jiwa
yang hanya ingin
menjadi diri sendiri
-moenlite-
when you don’t follow the sun...
*picture: Conway Castle, UK
[shades]
hati bermain
dimainkan
dan memainkan
jiwa berjanji
dijanjikan
dan menjanjikan
kala hati datang
jiwa berpaling
dan jalan memisahkan
jiwa lupa akan janji
hati berjumpa lagi
hati berjanji takkan bermain
dan jiwa bermainkan janji hati
dan keduanya pergi
hati dimainkan
jiwa dijanjikan
jiwa bermain hati-hati
dan hati tenggelam janji-janji
luluh lantak
hati dan jiwa
menangis tertawa
-moenlite-
when we play...
[shades]
Yes, that was the title of this bulletin board on friendster a few days ago.
People were free to list down silly things they felt they did when they were in love. The ‘stupidity’ ranged from constantly looking at the phone, silly grins that come out all of a sudden, losing their appetite, to getting psyched to cook and sport.
Yup...interesting how one can relate to the fact that there were ‘stupid things’ that they did or were willing to do when love came round the corner.
Interestingly, some people reflected on those moments as the ‘best of times’ and some portrayed it as ‘the worst of times’.
Now, I suppose the reason would be that they had also remembered what happened afterwards...as in, did the ‘fall in love’ continue with a stumble or...did it end up flying up high?
I’d say...regardless of what follows the fall,...being in love and doing stupid things are the spice of life that one should be grateful for :)
Here’s to love,
Cheers!
-moenlite-
Ramadhan is ending and celebrations of Ied are approaching.
Okay, not much of that apparent here in Singapore, unless you know where to look.
But nevertheless, my 2 day itinerary is pretty much listed down.
Plans are to pray Ied at the Embassy (yes, Indonesian Embassy that is. Don't know a single soul there...but nevertheless, I expect the 'Indonesian ties' shall bring us together....yeah right hehehe..actually my sole-motive is the delicious food I suppose would be there...hehehe don't tell them, okay ;)
then afterwards head for my Singaporean friend's house for silaturahmi...and then visit relatives (thank goodness I have several local relatives here). Then next day most probably go to the Consular's open-house (okay...they're the only one in the embassy I can say I at least kind of know, and have invited me over, btw ;)
Now, am going to ask you guys a big favour here....
Need to choose between two outfits (actually two different Tunic tops, the rest is the same...yes, I suppose only the female observants would realize that :), so if you would be so kind as to help me pick between these two...will send you pictures of the Hari Raya (another term for Idul Fitri) cookies...heheheh sedap 'tak? ;)
Okay, lets proceed.
I present exhibit A and B:
So, tell me, which one do you prefer between these two? So that I can plan accordingly.
FYI, both outfits were made by my mother :)) (Thanks Bunda!)
Inputs and comments are highly appreciated :))
Best,
Moenlite.
somehow
you feel the world spin
but you don’t feel you’re there
you see people move
but you just get to stare
you try to run
but the path just seems too far
you look back
and somehow
you’ve seemed to have missed the ride
the world spins
and everyone got their turn
but you just stare
and wonder why life is so unfair
-moenlite-
on the mary-go-round...
[shades]
dan jadilah ia penawar rasa
kala hati gundah gulana
saat senang ia dilupa
simpan baik untuk semasa
hidup senang
cita cita
saat duka
hampa rupa
lelah kuasa
melihat kita
kala naik
lupa hati
saat jatuh
mohon diri
-moenlite-
after midnight...
[shades]
why measure those with what you see
if eyes can not capture visions of those unsought
why define those with words unspoken
if language can not say of those untold
why listen to words unclear of truth
if silence is not what you’re ears can hear
let it be that tales of those
unseen untold unheard unclear
unfold by itself or remain as such
as not even I can tell you why
there are such secrets that lie beneath
-moenlite-
even when the sun shines...
[shades]
life plays tricks on you
as you think you saw it
but you didn’t
thought you knew it
but was fooled
thought you had it
yet was deceived
as life comes in different phases...
empty and absorbing
half-full yet still absorbing
but start filtering
start sorting though should still absorb
refuse to absorb
and thinks its over limit
....
when it has actually expanded its capacity
yes, we never do get to know the other side of the story
unless we try to really see...
and that’s only if we’re lucky.
-moenlite-
in a quest to expand existing limits...
picture:
Derawan shores, East Kalimantan
[shades]
Funny how life can teach us lessons that are so simple yet mean so much.
And that you find them when you least expect it.
If you're lucky, these lessons can be those that help you go through the next day and the next day...and make you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I was quite lucky yesterday to find what I found.
.....
I am someone who grew up to believe that there are so many things yet for me to learn, and improve. And it’s this sense of incompleteness that has made me very much aware of other people’s positive sides which keeps my mind rolling about how I could learn and adapt it to myself.
And that has been pretty much how I go about in my daily life. As it would be how I went about trying to learn from those around me. Messages would come about in my mind when I meet others especially with traits that I thought I should learn about. This went along pretty well. And as these messages flew through my mind, something else happened. That '20-something' phase occurred.
You know, the phase where you are bound to get confused. Where you are destined to wake up in the morning with questions in your head. Questions ranging from what your mood might be today to questions about the purpose of life, and the reason of your existence.
Now, being such a ‘self-aware’ person (too much might be a good word hehehe), my strategy was to look totally forward and make plans ahead so that I could sort of pass the phase with out much pain gained. And that is what I did. I fully concentrated on the ‘what to do 5 years from now’ issues, ‘what to want in 10 years later’ and so on, merely to the fact that such questions have been asked and I had no idea what the answer was.
So that became my big agenda. Figuring out my future. And frankly it was nice. Yes, it got my mind off the present time as it gave that comfort feeling that the future is still yet to be decided, so no plan you had could be a wrong one. Clever, huh? :)
But interestingly, I felt exhausted. Exhausted of feeling anxious to start my future, yet this future seemed a bit too far away. Though I thought, this was normal.
Yet now I know I was mistaken.
Yesterday, I went out with a good friend of mine. We broke fast and went for coffee at this really cozy café in town. You see, my friend was also 20 something. We shared many similar passions, such as interest in human nature, topics of the world, the comfort of family, and so on. But somehow, you could sense, she wasn’t confused. And an alarm in my head rang. Why?
She casually told me how she had made a drastic move away from her original plan in life. And that what she was doing right now was something she had always wanted to do, though the path was not yet settled. She would just let it evolve accordingly. And her sense of poise struck me to be surreal. How could that be possible? She wasn’t your typical airy person who would just ‘follow the flow’ and see where life brings you. She was a determined sole, and a very hard working one in fact. And as you can imagine, things ran in my head. ‘Hmmm….should I be questioning my own plans?’; ‘Maybe its not something I wanted to do?’ But then again, these thoughts were brushed off by another voice saying ‘You know that’s what you want to do.’ So, why was she more certain than me? You know, considering her claims that she had no clear plan of what her next steps would be (Though knowing her capabilities, the availability of options was not something that she would need to worry about). Then as we were waiting for the bus to get home, I found out the ‘why’.
Turns out, her ‘approach’ in life was to take things one at a time. She says she intends to complete those on her plate the best she can, to then move on to the next items.
It seemed so simple, yet so real.
And this is when I realized my source of exhaustion.
I was too focused on those not yet in my sight. It felt that I had no control over it, and clearly, I didn’t. I didn’t fully realize that those within clear range were actually the factors that would affect how the next day would turn.
I guess you can say I was pretty much farsighted.
Now I realize how it’s those in our reach that matters the most. That those ‘future plans’ in our head, should be taken as ‘deposit terms’ where we would put in the ‘savings’ we gathered from present dealings. And with a sufficient amount of ‘savings’, the type of ‘deposit’ you wanted can be such a relative term, as it can always be transferred to a more suitable one.
Yes, it was something I might have known but not yet fully comprehend.
And I now see my ‘plate’ in such a different light.
-moenlite-
when you need to stop running, and start walking…..
