reasons for being

I must say things definitely happen for a reason. And that helping others is not of any waste especially when we realize that all people are somewhat connected and that helping others usually come from the fact that our ‘excess’ is usually something to fill in other people’s somewhat ‘shortage’, and we get ours from others', and this goes on and on which forms a cycle, and it is this that makes the world turn; so by denying people of these ‘excesses’ we have (when we can actually help them) we only inflict and cause a lot of ‘bad-ness’ which just hinders the cycle to run smoothly.

Hmmm...think that’s too much? Probably it is, but maybe its because I’m a bit excited at the moment...yeah, I think that’s why :)
Let me tell you what happened. ;)



I was on campus and a friend called me to ask for a favor, which entailed a walk back to the department, drop something in his mailbox, before finally going back home. Plus it was already quite late in the evening.
Well I thought what the heck…I might as well take advantage of the exercise.
So, as I was going up the lift to the 6th floor, I bumped into my professor (we just had his exam yesterday, yikes!) who asked me to walk down with him (yes, God must be thinking I’m in desperate need of walks hehehe) and during this walk he kind of gave me a pretty good (fantastic actually) lead for my thesis.
Now I’m not someone to spell out facts that are not yet certain….but I must say that I am just totally excited.
And I just wanted to say, ‘Mas Danar, thanks for asking that favor from me! I owe you big time ;)’

Will let you guys know what its all about once I get confirmation.

Wish me luck (yet again... :)!
Yes, life is indeed beautiful...

-moenlite-

*picture:
The International fireworks festival on Scheveningen beach.
http://www.fieldofview.nl/pano-print/

something to look forward to...

Dear God...finals are almost done...can you believe it, one more to go *boy, I hope I don’t jinx it by writing this* and then….V.A.C.A.T.I.O.N!!!!

I think the last time I had a whole 1 month holiday (yup, 1 month indeed ;)) was like years and years ago, 1998 to be exact.
Which was like beginning of university years, before I started to work+study at the same time, meaning that school holidays were even more hectic, since of course my supervisors would have all the more reason to use my ‘free time’ and squeeze out the every minute that I had.
But I indeed enjoyed it, I really did, *yes, I was so naïve, I actually enjoyed my work hehehe*.

Then I started to really work, full time that is (full time on paper at least, my part time job was never less than full time work actually, sometimes even more :P) and of course I was entitled to around a 2 week leave...which of course was never ‘imposed’ on me, and only happens if I had the guts to go to my boss and say, ‘Hmm, I think I need to take some days off on this and that particular week.’
And of course that courage came, no doubt about that... ;)

But boy...one month?
What would I do in one month?
I bet I can think of plenty of things to do ;) hehehe
Yes, let me just sit here and think of a list of things to do...hmmm...;)

Okay, one more exam, and my so-called-salvation arrives ;)

So wish me luck, will you?
Big Thanks!

-moenlite-
thinking about her one month escapade...

hands in the pocket

we were both young
and shared our dreams
based on super idols and stories we’ve seen

as time grew
we walked our own paths
similar in soul
yet different by time

the distance grew part
you went your way
and I walked through mine

we both believed
each way was okay
yours suited you
and mine was for me

dear friends we remain
as souls still intertwine
two happy buddies
proven the test of time

but why is it that
I seem to want yours
and you envy mine

-moenlite-

[shades]

ketika cahaya dititip pada rembulan

malam itu ia bersimpuh
memohon yang tak biasa

tuhan beri lah
yang dulu terbantah
beri bahagia
dari orang yang dirasa
adalah belahan hati
yang tak bertepi

segala indah
untuk dirasa
yang bawa bahagia
dan warnai jiwa
pokoknya sempurna

ia amini
tapi terus berfikir lagi
ada ganjal di hati
atas pinta yang mohon diberi

wajah rupawan
mulut yang manis
tak ayal terbukti
hanya janji-janji surga
yang tak bersemi

harta benda
jabat perolehan
sumber perkara
dan sakit hati

tidak, tidak
bukan itu yang dipinta
bukan itu yg akan jawab
relung kosong hati nya

kembali ia buka lembaran doa
dan meralat pinta pada tuhannya

tuhan lupakan yang aku baru bilang
indah rupa tapi tak sempurna
sedap dipandang tapi sakit dihati
buat apa

kini ku tau apa yang aku perlu

tolong beri kan
cinta yang agung
yang rela tumbuh
antara dahan yang patah
yang mampu mekarkan bunga dan tak kunjung layu
obati perih yang mengendap sepi

yang bersama dirinya
ia bisa beri bahagia

dan ia amini kembali

tapi kali ini
ada yakin dihati
bahwa tuhan tersenyum
dan akan penuhi

-moenlite-
sajadah nya yang terbentang

[shades]

glows in the dark

aku bangun
dan pagi berkata pergi
entah kenapa suaranya seperti tak mau hilang
sebenarnya aku enggan
tapi entah kenapa aku ikuti
aku berjalan hingga tiba pada jantung pohon pisang
sang jantung berkata
selamat pagi putri
dunia sudah menantimu

siang tiba
sudah habis bekal sang jantung pisang
aku berjalan
dan menemui sungai

ada suara hutan mengiringi
majulah
tenggelamlah
dan akan kau temukan dirimu
mari, jangan ragu

aku enggan
tapi entah kenapa aku ikuti
majulah aku
dan berjalan ke tengah pusatnya

lalu benar saja aku tenggelam
dan dunia berubah
semua tampak kelam

namun kekelamannya tak lama
karena kemudian bersinar terang
bukan aku sendiri didalamnya
dan kudengar mereka tertawa

puas kah putri
dunia sudah kau dapati

entah apa yang aku cari
mungkin puas di hati
tapi mengapa
rasa tak kunjung tiba

kini aku telusuri muaranya
hingga ke lautan luasnya
sampai lelah aku mencari

dan kudengar suara lagi
dunia tertawa
sudahlah terima saja
kamu sudah jadi kami
kamu tak akan bisa lari

aku coba pergi
dunia bilang berhenti
kamu sudah kami
kami yang kuasai
tempatmu disini
hidupmu begini

aku ditangkap
terperangkap
aku sudah jadi kami
menjerit tak kuasa
pingsan oleh lelahnya terengah-engah
kemudian mati

esoknya aku bangun
dan dunia bilang
selamat pagi...

entah kenapa
lupa sudah akan lelahnya
dan kembali aku ikuti

-moenlite-

[shades]

tangles in time

dan tuhanku beri garis-garis untuk dibatasi
dan ia beri janji yang ingin orang dapati

janji dicari
jadi aku ikuti
tapi entah kenapa
aku ditertawai

sepanjang jalan aku dikatai
udik
bloon
tak tau jaman
tak tau kenikmatan

tuhan tak ada untuk membelamu
lebih baik kamu nikmati saja
dunia begitu indah
hidup begitu pendek
kenapa pula kamu bersikeras
menyiksa diri

penuhi inginmu
jalani maumu
ikuti nafsumu

dan aku heran
siapa bilang aku tak mau senang
memang nikmat yang aku cari

tapi bukan nikmat yang kamu tau
juga bukan janji mu
tapi janji yang aku tau sudah pasti

dan ia sumpahi aku
atas nama tuhan ku
yang juga tuhannya

lalu ia tertawa
terus tenggelam

dan kemudian mati

-moenlite-

[shades]

...just a lazy afternoon... 

in the lines of learning

Am thinking about taking some Mandarin lessons, and even discussed it with my Chinese flat mate (she’s promised to help practice)...but I think looking at my ‘history’, I’d need to really consider before taking the jump.

What history? Hehehe...yes, I have quite a ‘long’ and ‘dark’ record of lessons-taking (mind you that some *of course* were not completed)... ;)



As a sneak preview, here’s some (am just thinking if I missed anything):

Swimming: 3rd grade, I always had this theory that swimming tutors are quite mean...but at least mine cheered (only) when my parents came by :P

Bali dancing: attended once...just for the fun of it hehehe

Karate: twice, every time I was going to go to the next ‘Belt’ (read, was always the white belt level :P)...we moved houses hehehe

Subject tutoring: Math and Chemistry, I just loved my teachers. Gave me excuse to not study at home afterwards hehehe :P

Theatre: hahahah...I bet you don’t believe me if I said I was in some plays when I was younger :P hehehehe

Reciting the Quran: its sort of one of those never ending lessons, even after my teachers (yes, changed teachers so many times) say I’m already quite okay, but as you can guess...Mother knows best :P hehehe (Yes Bunda, I mean it in a good way ;) hehehe...)

Tennis: was really enjoying it....but I remember falling sick (dengue was it?) and needed to do the lessons 'almost' all over again....sigh...though am still a very big fan in playing it

Arab language: got confused...might do it again some later time in life (hmmm that might be around...now?)

English: at LIA, completed ;)...I wonder if it was more to do with my mom's threat that I might as well not continue school if don't do those lessons (hmmm...I wonder why that sounded like a threat??? :P)

Advance Writing: AMINEF, finished that, but maybe only because I did it together with a very determined Fitri :)

GRE: twice, and still haven’t really gone through the test :P

French: too many times, in many different places, in many different methods...and still can’t really speak it hehehe

Driving: I think I drove my tutors (this includes my dad, a friend, our driver and a real tutor) crazy...and I ended up being able to drive...almost 4 years after I got my license. Let’s just say, ‘getting the license’ is not such a big deal where I come from...but...at least I can say I had enough ‘sanity’ not to use it until it came to point that busses and ojeks (and brothers) were not very feasible options for my daily trips :P

Computer: did it once when I was in Junior High.....can't believe we were to memorize all those syntax languages...and now see where technology has brought us ;)

(thought about singing lessons...) those who've heard me sing will probably laugh at this idea...or...perhaps frightened? :P

(thought about cooking lessons) I wonder if God is giving me subtle ‘signs’ with my very excellent cooking-skilled flat mates?

(thought about drawing lessons...) hmmmm...

(am still very much interested in taking 'sushi making' lessons :D) yummy....(loh?)

Piano: (yes as an adult), really enjoyed this one. The teacher was excellent (and patient hehehe ya kan, Reynold? Bravo! :) I even did a recital (yes with a bunch of kids not even half my age...sigh) and really enjoyed it!

Jazz Ballet: this time Fitri was not very determined...I think I had gotten the better of her :P

Kickboxing: was sooooo enthusiastic, almost fainted during the first class (plus the place was just too far away from my apartment)

Yoga: had to quit, I was constantly sleeping....well, wouldn't have been such a big problem if I weren't taking the classes around the last hours of working...

Squash: took several lessons, just needed to find more time and convince myself to actually get to the court (plus actually gather some friends to join..) was really really nice though...

Fitness: hehehe...just too many different places. The best one was the latest place in my office building. The place was very close (the same building, gitu loh..), I really liked the setting, and I took a ‘set package’, with a particular target, plus the instructor was very patient (bravo Lisa!).

Self Defense: this time completed, did the course with a really nice bunch ;)

Salsa: managed half-way, but was a lot of fun ;)

Stata course: (its this data crunching tool) Well, the company arranged for it, so...no way lah...hehehe

So...hmm...Mandarin? hehehe we’ll see how that turns out...;)

-moenlite-

*picture:
Maskrosvacker, Klas Smeby

a moment in time

dilemparnya sebuah kerikil
dan lagi dan lagi
hingga muncul jalan setapak
yang dibawanya serta
dan mengiringinya kemana pun juga

ia sering bertanya
mustinya kah kerikil itu ada?
tapi jika tiada, tak akan ada bekas sisa pelajarannya
dan karena ada, ia dapat menoleh muka dan akan diingatkannya

orang bilang
bila besar jalan itu
maka pantas untuk was was
dan jadi bahan untuk mempertanyakan

namun andai mereka tau
jalan yang panjang dan berliku itu
yang berjasa menghantarkannya
hingga sampai depan pintu mu

karena jika tiada
ia mungkin tetap sampai
namun bukan tak mungkin
tak terlalu yakin
bahwa ia sudah tiba

-moenlite-
connecting the puzzle pieces...

*picture:
somewhere in Yvoire,
(moenlite)

[shades]

morning sun

dan ia temukan suara hatinya
yang lama terpendam terkubur
diantara bising malam
dan rona-rona kabur

suara hatinya bilang
ini dan itu
kok kamu begini
padahal kan kamu begitu

lepas itu ia manggut manggut
sambil tersenyum

ternyata sudah lama ia dengar
suara suara yang membisikkan itu
tapi tak pernah tau
apa artinya
apalagi maknanya

hingga datang angin malam
meriuh dan merendah
dingin yang membekas tanya
dan bayang bayang semu

-moenlite-
when you wake up

*picture: Morning Sun
Edward Hopper, 1952

[shades]

Eid Mubarrak!

A bit belated.
But nevertheless, allow me to ask you to spare some apologies for any wrong doings that I might have done, and do know that you have been forgiven as well.
May those of you celebrating have a great Idul Fitri on this 1425 H year :)
Quoting from a friend, the score is now '0-0’ :)) hehehe

I spent Idul Fitri/Lebaran away from home. It was weird, as it was my first time to do so. In the past, some Ramadhan days had been spent elsewhere, but Idul Fitri was always at home. But now as exams were approaching, I had to stay here, away from home.
And turns out my Idul Fitri was even better than I had expected (okay, I did sort of had low expectations).

The Ied prayers were done in the embassy, and the place was pretty much filled up. It was very nice to see the many fellow Indonesians in Singapore (though I didn’t know most of them...well...okay, I almost didn’t know anyone of them hehehe). After prayers, I spotted a good friend and joined her and her husband and friends and we headed for the Ambassador’s house, as we heard there was an open-house (and a big possibility of good food hehehe) Had some yummy ketupat, rendang, sate, fruits and all (rambutan, dukuh, hmmmm). We then departed, and I went off to a Singaporean friend’s house who was inviting her friends over in the afternoon before she did her rounds to her relatives' houses (fyi, Ied/Raya is all about that, visiting family and friends, forgiving each other and wishing the best for one another; and the first day of Ied is usually for close family). Then I headed for my relatives’ house and went with them around Singapore and Johor Bahru (Malaysia) to visit their relatives.
Then next day was to visit my Mom’s friend’s open-house (very very nice lady btw) in the afternoon. That just turned out to be excellent. Not only was the food very good (hmmm ;), I also got to meet very nice and interesting families and people there. We exchanged contacts, and I promised myself that after exams will get around to contact them.
Yes, Lebaran this year was special indeed.

To round it up, the interesting impressions from Idul Fitri was (perhaps more obvious to Indonesians than Singaporeans reading this):
- Turns out, women are not accustomed to pray Ied in the mosques here.
- I was so fortunate to be able to spend Ied in 3 different cultures in one day: Indonesia, Singapore and Malaysia. Would not have even imagined doing so before. Cool, huh? ;) I must say I am blessed to have the many wonderful firends and relatives here. I'm so grateful.
- House-visiting rounds lasted until 1.30am (last house visited was around midnight! Goodness, in Jakarta (where I’ve spent most of my Ieds), visiting after 9pm would already be a bit awkward. Different places, different settings, right? :) I think in Singapore it’s also because people here really have to squeeze the visits into the 2 days they have.
- The food served (hey, people were constantly asking me) were pretty much similar. Ketupat, Lodeh, Sambal Goreng Hati (they call it Sambal Goreng Pengantin here), etc.
- Funny story on the Sambal Goreng Hati/Pengantin. Turns out there’s a saying that if someone single eats the sambal goreng pengantin (means bride/groom), they’ll get married soon. Well, unfortunately/fortunately (? you tell me which one hehehe) this was one of my favorite dishes (and we didn’t have this ‘belief’ in Indonesia), so my aunts were quite shocked and kept teasing me when I was taking my second serving hehehe
- When visiting distant relatives in another city/country, make sure you know your relatives back home, left and right. I was exchanging details on ‘who was who’ with someone here, and had no idea who to mention and more over who he was mentioning. The conversation pretty much went like ‘Hmmm...I think I’ve heard of that person.’, ‘Hmmm, do you know Mrs.X? and is she what...? I wonder if her family does came from...’ Hmmm...Oh...I’m not sure, need to check...’ and constantly hoping your parents were there to bail you out of the obvious situation that you had no clue of which uncle came from which family and was related to whom. Was quite painful. :) And I’m actually considered to be quite the ‘social’ person at home...can’t imagine my elder brother being in that situation hehehehe :P *peace bro..*
- But, anyhow it gave me that interesting feeling that I was my own ‘individual’ there, and not my ‘Mom/Dad’s daughter’, you know that kind of distant feeling (and detached responsibility) you sometimes feel at relative’s houses (or is it just me? hehehe). So it was quite interesting to realize that those people would be judging you from how you go about, how you behave and it was all open for judgment, either way (good or bad), there was no pre-text.
- And on the note of ‘being an individual’ and ‘having responsibilities’, I (who rarely do these things) decided to prepare (not bake, unfortunately) some cookies to bring for the hosts of the houses I went to. It took me the whole day to search for cookies (I wasn’t sure where and even what to get), then the containers and how to decorate it (hey, it’s supposed to be a special day, right? :). I guess I made more effort than I would have done back home. And it felt good :) Really.
And as promised, here are some pictures of my Hari Raya cookies.


decorated boxes


the cookies!


Btw, my apartment guard was so kind and gave me another 3 jars of cookies! Both he and the night-shift one have been so sweet and supplied me with so many dishes and fruits during Ramadhan. I dedicate this posting to them! :) Big Thanks Pak Cik (both of you)!

Happy Hari Raya!
-moenlite-

along the corridors

saat semua mata bertanya
saat semua ucap mengasihani
diri yang tak merasa lara
apalagi sengasara

parau hati tak tertandingi
ketika jiwa mempertanyakan diri
tak berdaya
tak bisa mengimbangi
hanya bisa jalani
hari demi hari

karena sudut selalu diberi
pada jiwa
yang hanya ingin
menjadi diri sendiri

-moenlite-
when you don’t follow the sun...

*picture: Conway Castle, UK


[shades]

tatkala tiada

hati bermain
dimainkan
dan memainkan

jiwa berjanji
dijanjikan
dan menjanjikan

kala hati datang
jiwa berpaling
dan jalan memisahkan

jiwa lupa akan janji
hati berjumpa lagi

hati berjanji takkan bermain
dan jiwa bermainkan janji hati
dan keduanya pergi

hati dimainkan
jiwa dijanjikan

jiwa bermain hati-hati
dan hati tenggelam janji-janji
luluh lantak
hati dan jiwa
menangis tertawa

-moenlite-
when we play...

[shades]

The stupidest thing one does for love

Yes, that was the title of this bulletin board on friendster a few days ago.
People were free to list down silly things they felt they did when they were in love. The ‘stupidity’ ranged from constantly looking at the phone, silly grins that come out all of a sudden, losing their appetite, to getting psyched to cook and sport.

Yup...interesting how one can relate to the fact that there were ‘stupid things’ that they did or were willing to do when love came round the corner.
Interestingly, some people reflected on those moments as the ‘best of times’ and some portrayed it as ‘the worst of times’.

Now, I suppose the reason would be that they had also remembered what happened afterwards...as in, did the ‘fall in love’ continue with a stumble or...did it end up flying up high?

I’d say...regardless of what follows the fall,...being in love and doing stupid things are the spice of life that one should be grateful for :)

Here’s to love,
Cheers!

-moenlite-

in the spirit of Ied, a rather different posting :)

Ramadhan is ending and celebrations of Ied are approaching.
Okay, not much of that apparent here in Singapore, unless you know where to look.

But nevertheless, my 2 day itinerary is pretty much listed down.
Plans are to pray Ied at the Embassy (yes, Indonesian Embassy that is. Don't know a single soul there...but nevertheless, I expect the 'Indonesian ties' shall bring us together....yeah right hehehe..actually my sole-motive is the delicious food I suppose would be there...hehehe don't tell them, okay ;)
then afterwards head for my Singaporean friend's house for silaturahmi...and then visit relatives (thank goodness I have several local relatives here). Then next day most probably go to the Consular's open-house (okay...they're the only one in the embassy I can say I at least kind of know, and have invited me over, btw ;)
Now, am going to ask you guys a big favour here....

Need to choose between two outfits (actually two different Tunic tops, the rest is the same...yes, I suppose only the female observants would realize that :), so if you would be so kind as to help me pick between these two...will send you pictures of the Hari Raya (another term for Idul Fitri) cookies...heheheh sedap 'tak? ;)

Okay, lets proceed.

I present exhibit A and B:



So, tell me, which one do you prefer between these two? So that I can plan accordingly.
FYI, both outfits were made by my mother :)) (Thanks Bunda!)

Inputs and comments are highly appreciated :))


Best,
Moenlite.

echoed whispers

somehow
you feel the world spin
but you don’t feel you’re there
you see people move
but you just get to stare

you try to run
but the path just seems too far
you look back
and somehow
you’ve seemed to have missed the ride

the world spins
and everyone got their turn
but you just stare
and wonder why life is so unfair

-moenlite-
on the mary-go-round...

[shades]

selepas malam

dan jadilah ia penawar rasa
kala hati gundah gulana
saat senang ia dilupa
simpan baik untuk semasa

hidup senang
cita cita
saat duka
hampa rupa

lelah kuasa
melihat kita

kala naik
lupa hati
saat jatuh
mohon diri

-moenlite-
after midnight...

[shades]

lost in space

why measure those with what you see
if eyes can not capture visions of those unsought

why define those with words unspoken
if language can not say of those untold

why listen to words unclear of truth
if silence is not what you’re ears can hear

let it be that tales of those
unseen untold unheard unclear
unfold by itself or remain as such
as not even I can tell you why
there are such secrets that lie beneath

-moenlite-
even when the sun shines...

[shades]

a game called life

life plays tricks on you
as you think you saw it
but you didn’t
thought you knew it
but was fooled
thought you had it
yet was deceived

as life comes in different phases...

empty and absorbing

half-full yet still absorbing
but start filtering

start sorting though should still absorb

refuse to absorb
and thinks its over limit
....
when it has actually expanded its capacity

yes, we never do get to know the other side of the story
unless we try to really see...
and that’s only if we’re lucky.

-moenlite-
in a quest to expand existing limits...

picture:
Derawan shores, East Kalimantan

[shades]

one step at a time...

Funny how life can teach us lessons that are so simple yet mean so much.
And that you find them when you least expect it.
If you're lucky, these lessons can be those that help you go through the next day and the next day...and make you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I was quite lucky yesterday to find what I found.
.....



I am someone who grew up to believe that there are so many things yet for me to learn, and improve. And it’s this sense of incompleteness that has made me very much aware of other people’s positive sides which keeps my mind rolling about how I could learn and adapt it to myself.

And that has been pretty much how I go about in my daily life. As it would be how I went about trying to learn from those around me. Messages would come about in my mind when I meet others especially with traits that I thought I should learn about. This went along pretty well. And as these messages flew through my mind, something else happened. That '20-something' phase occurred.
You know, the phase where you are bound to get confused. Where you are destined to wake up in the morning with questions in your head. Questions ranging from what your mood might be today to questions about the purpose of life, and the reason of your existence.

Now, being such a ‘self-aware’ person (too much might be a good word hehehe), my strategy was to look totally forward and make plans ahead so that I could sort of pass the phase with out much pain gained. And that is what I did. I fully concentrated on the ‘what to do 5 years from now’ issues, ‘what to want in 10 years later’ and so on, merely to the fact that such questions have been asked and I had no idea what the answer was.
So that became my big agenda. Figuring out my future. And frankly it was nice. Yes, it got my mind off the present time as it gave that comfort feeling that the future is still yet to be decided, so no plan you had could be a wrong one. Clever, huh? :)

But interestingly, I felt exhausted. Exhausted of feeling anxious to start my future, yet this future seemed a bit too far away. Though I thought, this was normal.
Yet now I know I was mistaken.

Yesterday, I went out with a good friend of mine. We broke fast and went for coffee at this really cozy café in town. You see, my friend was also 20 something. We shared many similar passions, such as interest in human nature, topics of the world, the comfort of family, and so on. But somehow, you could sense, she wasn’t confused. And an alarm in my head rang. Why?

She casually told me how she had made a drastic move away from her original plan in life. And that what she was doing right now was something she had always wanted to do, though the path was not yet settled. She would just let it evolve accordingly. And her sense of poise struck me to be surreal. How could that be possible? She wasn’t your typical airy person who would just ‘follow the flow’ and see where life brings you. She was a determined sole, and a very hard working one in fact. And as you can imagine, things ran in my head. ‘Hmmm….should I be questioning my own plans?’; ‘Maybe its not something I wanted to do?’ But then again, these thoughts were brushed off by another voice saying ‘You know that’s what you want to do.’ So, why was she more certain than me? You know, considering her claims that she had no clear plan of what her next steps would be (Though knowing her capabilities, the availability of options was not something that she would need to worry about). Then as we were waiting for the bus to get home, I found out the ‘why’.

Turns out, her ‘approach’ in life was to take things one at a time. She says she intends to complete those on her plate the best she can, to then move on to the next items.
It seemed so simple, yet so real.

And this is when I realized my source of exhaustion.
I was too focused on those not yet in my sight. It felt that I had no control over it, and clearly, I didn’t. I didn’t fully realize that those within clear range were actually the factors that would affect how the next day would turn.
I guess you can say I was pretty much farsighted.

Now I realize how it’s those in our reach that matters the most. That those ‘future plans’ in our head, should be taken as ‘deposit terms’ where we would put in the ‘savings’ we gathered from present dealings. And with a sufficient amount of ‘savings’, the type of ‘deposit’ you wanted can be such a relative term, as it can always be transferred to a more suitable one.

Yes, it was something I might have known but not yet fully comprehend.
And I now see my ‘plate’ in such a different light.

-moenlite-
when you need to stop running, and start walking…..