am back in Spore again.
yet will be flying off to KL tomorrow, just for two days...to meet and interview some experts for my thesis.
plus will meet up with someone to confirm and settle some arrangements for my research.
am totally nervous....
but atleast i get to meet up with my two good friends there (must make time for this indeed :)
wish me luck!
-moenlite-
*picture:
Flying High
things don't necessarily stay the same
like when you find yourself being the opposite from your life time definitions
you thought you'd only make your tunes in the dark
all of a sudden your singing in daylight
you said chicken legs should never make a sight
now you find your self ordering that second serve
you always loved tuna fish sandwich
until that expiry date had you lose your appetite
you told yourself that type of earring would never suit you
your jewellry box now has a collection in different shades of colour
you thought you'd never find the guts to say hello
all of a sudden you find yourself exchanging numbers and arranging for a coffee session next week
you told friends you'd never go for vintage clothes, that only fools do that
until you find yourself poking through second-hand shops
ketchup has always been your ultimate savior
and now you find yourself digging through the sambal that si mbak makes so well
some say forever to those now long forgotten
and find themselves saying i miss you to the ones they said never ever to
remember that nothing is never and mind yourself when you say forever
yet from all those that are to be corrected
this one feeling shall always and forever linger still
-moenlite-
[never say never...]
[shades]
Life throws you things that you can't return
Sometimes its not about the throw, its the catch that counts...
Again
Faith Evans
Now I don't felt a lot of pain
I don't seen a lot of things
From struggling and broken heart to fancy cars (oh yeah)
And even though my money change
I tried my best to stay the same
But you know with more money
More problems came
If I had to do it all again
I wouldn’t take away the rain
Cuz I know it made me who I am
If I had to do it all again
I’ve learnt so much from my mistakes
that’s how I know he's watching me
In atl I caught a case
And the media tried to say
I had a habit
I couldn’t manage and I am throwing my life away
But everything ain’t what it seems just because its on TV
Cuz they speculate and exaggerate for a better story
If I had to do it all again
I wouldn’t take away the rain
Cuz I know it made me who I am
If I had to do it all again
I’ve learn so much from my mistakes
that’s how I know he's watching me
Nobody knows what life may bring
It might make you happy it might make you sad
Sometimes yeah but I know
there’s a reason for everything (but I know)
That’s why I keep believing
Whatever is meant to be its going to be
If I had to do it all again
I wouldn’t take away the rain
Cuz I know it made me who I am
If I had to do it all again
I’ve learn so much from my mistakes
that’s how I know he's watching me
then again, life goes on...
-moenlite-
[tunes]
tersadarkan diri
dari lamunan tadi
yang entah mengapa
dalam yakin timbulnya ragu
akan hal-hal yang tak tentu
mengenai masa yang kata orang tak ada yang betul betul tahu
walau melangkah karena ingin
dan berhenti karena ragu
hati ini tetap bimbang dan was-was ini itu
orang bilang kita memang seringkali tidak puas
sudah sedih ingin senang
sedang riang rindu perih
datang sedih menyesal lagi
ketika jarak terasa jauh sudah ditempuh
ragu datang membayang
pun berbisik dan merayu
sudah, jangan juga kamu maju
bingung lagi hati itu
apakah memang tau ataukah ngeri yang tak perlu
-moenlite-
[tingkah pola ini dan itu]
*picture:
'come together'
[poems]
silly how one realizes such things in painful experiences.
silly that you read these in books and then only really 'get' the lesson through tears.
things i've recently learned:
- think when you speak. it might feel good to say your mind, but listening to it might be a totally different thing
- have faith in those that you love.
- potato-potato, its all the same
- don't just demand. look closely at the response and even closer in the mirror
- honest is good but sometimes its not that good.
- you don't always have to please others. truth might be bitter by every inch, but when you stack it all up and pour it out, it'll taste worse than all medicines combined
- when you love, love deeply and truly, cause that's the only way one can love
-moenlite
in case one shares the same stupidity...
my flat mates have all left today.
well, one has gone home, the other one seems to have gone out of town.
even though we don't interect as much, knowing they're just in their rooms, outside my door...gives me peace.
was still okay, chatting with my cousin, who's thousands of miles away, and my abang who's also not in singapore. even spoke to my mom over the phone.
in general, i felt more 'not in singapore' than i was here (a good dinner and chat out with aiida however ensured me that i was not in jakarta's zone).
then all of a sudden...while voice chatting past midnight (you certainly must try these devices....), the internet connection somehow got busted.
went to the kitchen, while restarting my computer....all of a sudden this creepy feeling came telling me 'yes, you are alone, in this foriegn island, how could you not have noticed...'
so i took advantage of the power of music, trying to pretend that i enjoyed this creepy feeling.
it's been some time....
-moenlite-
...and the semester ends ;)
[hoping that the results are not too disappointing...hmmm]
looking forward to a beautiful holiday
[eventhough filled with thesis work]
i have a feeling i'll manage to get some sun and some laughter, during these next three months...yippie... ;)
-moenlite-
*picture:
'Sunset over the Pacific', Robert H Zakon
just finished my third exam, which allows me some time to think of non-study related issues...yippiee...
Was told today that my previous-computer from my previous-job (before this program) has been constantly logging in to my msn messenger account, an instrument I’ve only started using recently after so long (no wonder I only find this out now).
Despite the fact that I wonder why no one has told me this before, including my successor (using the machine) who could by all means find ways of contacting me and saving much trouble (both her, me and those that I suppose constantly-casually-say ‘hi, what’s up’ on my account-now-being-controlled-by-who-ever-it-is-using-the-machine).
Well, I immediately changed my password (someone please tell me this is good enough) and apparently my successor was told how to take care of the disturbance (I’ve also found that windows messenger keeps bugging you and is troublesome to remove even after you uninstall your msn messenger-version whatever). So I consider the issue solved.
However, I recall stories of other people who’ve had their messenger/email accounts violated by others (which is of course a totally different story in my case), and were risked being misrepresented by others.
Well, yes, there was that possibility in my case, yet I’m thinking of something else.
I think it’s amazing how more and more chances ‘others’ have in representing you, be it other people, or technology.
Worse, how these machines can act on your behalf and make your friends/acquaintances think ‘what’s up with her today?’.
Which leads on to other incidences when you make conclusions of other people based on a particular timing that could and could not be very good for them.
For instance, you pass by me just when I’m late for an exam (God forbid), totally frazzled and rushing through the door. You say ‘hi’ or worse, ask an ‘important’ question (unfortunately I’ve found that ‘important’ can be such a relative term, sigh...), and my face goes ‘what...?’ in a way that might disturb you and make you think ‘what’s up with her?’ or worse...make conclusions that ‘this person is such a...[fill in the blanks]’.
Then voila, someone has an impression about you. And you don’t even realize it.
A ‘good-outcome scenario’ is like me asking my brother (real-life story of an evil younger sister hehehe...) if I can borrow his whatever (too many different events, involving too many different requests)...hmmm...while he’s only half awake ;).
Of course (I pretend not to realize this of course)—him being only half conscious and can not be taken too seriously, and would do anything to make me stop bugging him—says ‘yes’, and of course I (grinning) take it as a valid response. Yup, you actually allowed me to use your stuff/agreed to pick me up in the afternoon at my friend’s place, etc. etc...(I admit guilty after so long hehehe...*peace bro...*)
Well, of course, I might be going totally out of context, yet I can’t help but wonder that, yes, we have no power as to change anyone’s perception of us [good or bad].
However, doesn’t it just make you wonder how many times/people we’ve wrongly judged as well?
Definitely something I’d ponder next time I ever make a judgment/conclusion on others. Hmmmm...
Okay, need to go back to my study-preparation-related activities
(as in: doing something-while-thinking-about-studying kind of activities...)
Till then!
-moenlite-
[thinking about jogging, but looking at the dark clouds as a good excuse not to...;)]
just want to be someone else at the moment....
-moenlite-
[one more coming up, then the last...]
