Jogjakarta

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looking out my window

Once in a while life seems to be playing tricks on you. One day you’re on top of the world, the next day suddenly it feels like a truck had just came and ran over you.
And being a twentysomething certainly doesn’t help make things better. You either feel your making decisions based on too-much-information or you simply lack the required knowledge and realize later that what you did should have been a totally different way.

What was I trying to say before babbling? Yes, life.

This year has certainly been an overrated version of life of a middle class girl(slash)woman who takes what ever life throws at her.
Yes, it has certainly thrown a bunch of different things at me recently, and its pitch was like no other. There were pains, heartbreaks, anger, joy, relief, confusion...all mumbled into one whole being, stretched out on different days. Days that I thought would never pass...days that never showed what its tomorrow would have in-store. And at last, days of joy.

Yes, my current state is happiness and relief. And when one is happy, its always much easier to write :)

I’m on a plane from my hometown, to a city that I’ve always been wanting to go. And the travel authorization just came out like that. The purpose? Well, that’s to be mentioned in another post ;)

All I’d like to say right now is...even though things may seem like hay wired threads that run back and forth without que, I’m sure from the front view...my life's 'portrait' ain’t that bad.

Cheers to all you kindred spirits out there.
All I can say is, please don’t lose faith...ever,

Adios,
-moenlite-

being female

I first passed by these words a few years back, and now I'd like to share it here.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

..one old love
she can imagine
going back to...
and one who reminds
her how far she has come...

..enough money within her
control to move out and
rent a place of her own
even if she never wants
to or needs to...

..something perfect to wear if
the employer or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour...

..a youth she's content
to leave behind...

..a past juicy enough that
she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age...

..a set of screwdrivers,
cordless drill, and a black
lace bra...

..one friend who always makes
her laugh... and one who lets
her cry...

..a good piece of furniture
not previously owned by anyone
else in her family..

..eight matching plates, wine
glasses with stems, and a recipe
for a meal that will make her
guests feel honored..

..a feeling of control over
her destiny...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

..how to fall in love without
losing herself...

..how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend
without ruining the friendship...
and how to change a tire...

..when to try harder...
and when to walk away...

..that she can't change
the length of her calves,
the width of her hips,
or the nature of her parents...

..that her childhood may not
have been perfect...
but its over...

..what she would and wouldn't
do for love or more...

..how to live alone...
even if she doesn't like it...

..whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't
take it personally...

..where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

..what she can and can't
accomplish in a day..
a month...and a year...

..why they say
life begins at 30...


yes, very true indeed...
-moenlite-
[looking back and wondering...]

on a night like this

Had a nice small family reunion when I was home last week. Wasn’t really planned for actually, yes...things just seemed to fall into place.

My eldest brother and family was in town, my second brother arrived in time (his wife is still in Jakarta at the moment, finishing her masters), unfortunately my third brother had to miss this, but luckily his wife and son have not yet flown out so they were there. Plus...my cousin and her family was unexpectedly there (though reason being an unfortunate one_her father in law passed away, God rest his soul_their presence was truly a long awaited one); and of course my other cousins and uncle and aunts in Jakarta that I truly miss and love to meet every time I get a chance to.

The night was lovely.
If one were to noticed closely, they'd realize that those present were actually a mix of both my mom and dad’s side, without really being able to tell the difference. Even I had always assumed it was all one big family and not a combination of two. When I was younger I had assumed this was because both my parents come from the same place, and had sort of known each other’s family. But come to think of it, the more I noticed that even as my family expanded (with 'new' family members originating from various places), that blend was still there. And I truly feel grateful for that. No *this is from my mom’s side, I’m closer to them*-*this is from my dad’s side, I’m closer to them* kind of issues. Thank God :)
Well, I hope its not too ambitious to wish that I can someday pass that on to my future generation, who knows :)

-moenlite-
[still sensing the delicious nasi uduk and dishes from that night...hmmmm :)]

growing up

Maturity is to be able to bear injustice without trying to get even....

My dear cousin passed on these words to me a few days ago, when we happened to meet under unexpected circumstances. These were just the words I needed to hear I guess.

No, it’s not about anyone I’ve ever mentioned here. But, yes I believe I have been injustice-d several times by the same persons recently, at least these recent ones were the hardest hits. And it wasn’t pretty. I know that some would just cut their friendship loose, since of course there are other much nicer people worth befriending with in this world. But it wasn’t that easy, this situation was a bit sticky, plus...the ugly part already took place.

So, I took that last shot on ‘maturity’, without loosing my pride, and wrote those long awaited words to come through. Short and simple.

And I felt good, mission completed. Now whatever response I get, is out my hands, and definitely not worth thinking about.
And at least now I know better. Yes, believe me, I’ve learnt my lesson.

-moenlite-
[listening to those tunes...]

*picture, by Jan Cook

to be number one

Horee....finally Indonesia has something 'first' in SE Asia, for a change (at least that I am aware of *grin*)
Frankly I'm a bit tired of reading Spore boasting about its first-this&that-in-the-world, world-class blah, etc.... Just the other day I saw a commercial about this piece of jewellry, how it was the world's first purple jewel neclace or something. Okay, that does sound impressive, but once you give it a second or too, you wonder whether these types of coloured jewels (i think it was pearl or something) are actually pretty common (pardon moi, je ne suis pas un bijoutier :P), its just that now they sell it in purple....Duh!
Yes, you can always hand it to Spore for its loaded marketing efforts...

-moenlite-
[getting ready to get her cup of mocca.....*big grin*]

*picture

Update:
I checked the ad again, it was actually about a purple gold necklace. And as I recall, my mother in 1986 had bought herself a three-colour-gold ring....hmmmm so its only now they've invented the purple colour one? come on....
btw, that lovely ring was stolen when our house was robbed years ago....ouch :(

as green as it gets...

seems like the air is weighing pretty heavy tonight.
nothing seems right, but somehow, i feel hope.
kinda...

Hand In My Pocket
Alanis Morissette
I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm worthless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette

What it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm shy but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken sh*t
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano

What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxicab...


yes, when we're all green life seems helpless, then when you're ripe, you might just miss those silly scary feelings again, somehow.
-moenlite-

those signs ahead

There are times when you wonder whether words are being shouted to you from above.
No, not in letter form but more in signage.
Signage that you wonder whether decoding them needs to be this way or the other.
And you wonder whether you are being just too self cautious and paranoid or right on track.
Yes, life is full of signage.
Those that are to be decoded now,
And those that will always remain a mystery.

Good night everyone.
-moenlite-

*picture, by Don Paulson

on a full moon like this

Had a pretty interesting day, as I believe today I was much healthier than I have been in ages :P
Today I did a biathlon without intending to :)

What happened was, I got a bit bored this afternoon rambling around in my apartment from one thing to the other, and thought about taking out my running shoes but then got inspired by the nice breeze and the blue water from the pool below.

So decided to take a dip instead; made about 7 laps around the pool (believe me the pool is not Olympic size :P). and after getting dressed, chatted with a friend on YM and took up an impromptu tennis invitation. So those tennis shoes actually did get to see the light of day (well, evening that is ;) after sitting put in my room for months since I brought them here.

So, here I am after a 2 hour tennis game and nasi goreng with prawn accompanied by my old time favorite teh tarik (with ice this time), taking a breath and getting ready for a warm bath and good book just before heading to lala land.
What a day ;)

-moenlite-
[sweating yet smiling...]

*picture: March Moons