reasons for being

I must say things definitely happen for a reason. And that helping others is not of any waste especially when we realize that all people are somewhat connected and that helping others usually come from the fact that our ‘excess’ is usually something to fill in other people’s somewhat ‘shortage’, and we get ours from others', and this goes on and on which forms a cycle, and it is this that makes the world turn; so by denying people of these ‘excesses’ we have (when we can actually help them) we only inflict and cause a lot of ‘bad-ness’ which just hinders the cycle to run smoothly.

Hmmm...think that’s too much? Probably it is, but maybe its because I’m a bit excited at the moment...yeah, I think that’s why :)
Let me tell you what happened. ;)



I was on campus and a friend called me to ask for a favor, which entailed a walk back to the department, drop something in his mailbox, before finally going back home. Plus it was already quite late in the evening.
Well I thought what the heck…I might as well take advantage of the exercise.
So, as I was going up the lift to the 6th floor, I bumped into my professor (we just had his exam yesterday, yikes!) who asked me to walk down with him (yes, God must be thinking I’m in desperate need of walks hehehe) and during this walk he kind of gave me a pretty good (fantastic actually) lead for my thesis.
Now I’m not someone to spell out facts that are not yet certain….but I must say that I am just totally excited.
And I just wanted to say, ‘Mas Danar, thanks for asking that favor from me! I owe you big time ;)’

Will let you guys know what its all about once I get confirmation.

Wish me luck (yet again... :)!
Yes, life is indeed beautiful...

-moenlite-

*picture:
The International fireworks festival on Scheveningen beach.
http://www.fieldofview.nl/pano-print/

something to look forward to...

Dear God...finals are almost done...can you believe it, one more to go *boy, I hope I don’t jinx it by writing this* and then….V.A.C.A.T.I.O.N!!!!

I think the last time I had a whole 1 month holiday (yup, 1 month indeed ;)) was like years and years ago, 1998 to be exact.
Which was like beginning of university years, before I started to work+study at the same time, meaning that school holidays were even more hectic, since of course my supervisors would have all the more reason to use my ‘free time’ and squeeze out the every minute that I had.
But I indeed enjoyed it, I really did, *yes, I was so naïve, I actually enjoyed my work hehehe*.

Then I started to really work, full time that is (full time on paper at least, my part time job was never less than full time work actually, sometimes even more :P) and of course I was entitled to around a 2 week leave...which of course was never ‘imposed’ on me, and only happens if I had the guts to go to my boss and say, ‘Hmm, I think I need to take some days off on this and that particular week.’
And of course that courage came, no doubt about that... ;)

But boy...one month?
What would I do in one month?
I bet I can think of plenty of things to do ;) hehehe
Yes, let me just sit here and think of a list of things to do...hmmm...;)

Okay, one more exam, and my so-called-salvation arrives ;)

So wish me luck, will you?
Big Thanks!

-moenlite-
thinking about her one month escapade...

hands in the pocket

we were both young
and shared our dreams
based on super idols and stories we’ve seen

as time grew
we walked our own paths
similar in soul
yet different by time

the distance grew part
you went your way
and I walked through mine

we both believed
each way was okay
yours suited you
and mine was for me

dear friends we remain
as souls still intertwine
two happy buddies
proven the test of time

but why is it that
I seem to want yours
and you envy mine

-moenlite-

[shades]

ketika cahaya dititip pada rembulan

malam itu ia bersimpuh
memohon yang tak biasa

tuhan beri lah
yang dulu terbantah
beri bahagia
dari orang yang dirasa
adalah belahan hati
yang tak bertepi

segala indah
untuk dirasa
yang bawa bahagia
dan warnai jiwa
pokoknya sempurna

ia amini
tapi terus berfikir lagi
ada ganjal di hati
atas pinta yang mohon diberi

wajah rupawan
mulut yang manis
tak ayal terbukti
hanya janji-janji surga
yang tak bersemi

harta benda
jabat perolehan
sumber perkara
dan sakit hati

tidak, tidak
bukan itu yang dipinta
bukan itu yg akan jawab
relung kosong hati nya

kembali ia buka lembaran doa
dan meralat pinta pada tuhannya

tuhan lupakan yang aku baru bilang
indah rupa tapi tak sempurna
sedap dipandang tapi sakit dihati
buat apa

kini ku tau apa yang aku perlu

tolong beri kan
cinta yang agung
yang rela tumbuh
antara dahan yang patah
yang mampu mekarkan bunga dan tak kunjung layu
obati perih yang mengendap sepi

yang bersama dirinya
ia bisa beri bahagia

dan ia amini kembali

tapi kali ini
ada yakin dihati
bahwa tuhan tersenyum
dan akan penuhi

-moenlite-
sajadah nya yang terbentang

[shades]

glows in the dark

aku bangun
dan pagi berkata pergi
entah kenapa suaranya seperti tak mau hilang
sebenarnya aku enggan
tapi entah kenapa aku ikuti
aku berjalan hingga tiba pada jantung pohon pisang
sang jantung berkata
selamat pagi putri
dunia sudah menantimu

siang tiba
sudah habis bekal sang jantung pisang
aku berjalan
dan menemui sungai

ada suara hutan mengiringi
majulah
tenggelamlah
dan akan kau temukan dirimu
mari, jangan ragu

aku enggan
tapi entah kenapa aku ikuti
majulah aku
dan berjalan ke tengah pusatnya

lalu benar saja aku tenggelam
dan dunia berubah
semua tampak kelam

namun kekelamannya tak lama
karena kemudian bersinar terang
bukan aku sendiri didalamnya
dan kudengar mereka tertawa

puas kah putri
dunia sudah kau dapati

entah apa yang aku cari
mungkin puas di hati
tapi mengapa
rasa tak kunjung tiba

kini aku telusuri muaranya
hingga ke lautan luasnya
sampai lelah aku mencari

dan kudengar suara lagi
dunia tertawa
sudahlah terima saja
kamu sudah jadi kami
kamu tak akan bisa lari

aku coba pergi
dunia bilang berhenti
kamu sudah kami
kami yang kuasai
tempatmu disini
hidupmu begini

aku ditangkap
terperangkap
aku sudah jadi kami
menjerit tak kuasa
pingsan oleh lelahnya terengah-engah
kemudian mati

esoknya aku bangun
dan dunia bilang
selamat pagi...

entah kenapa
lupa sudah akan lelahnya
dan kembali aku ikuti

-moenlite-

[shades]

tangles in time

dan tuhanku beri garis-garis untuk dibatasi
dan ia beri janji yang ingin orang dapati

janji dicari
jadi aku ikuti
tapi entah kenapa
aku ditertawai

sepanjang jalan aku dikatai
udik
bloon
tak tau jaman
tak tau kenikmatan

tuhan tak ada untuk membelamu
lebih baik kamu nikmati saja
dunia begitu indah
hidup begitu pendek
kenapa pula kamu bersikeras
menyiksa diri

penuhi inginmu
jalani maumu
ikuti nafsumu

dan aku heran
siapa bilang aku tak mau senang
memang nikmat yang aku cari

tapi bukan nikmat yang kamu tau
juga bukan janji mu
tapi janji yang aku tau sudah pasti

dan ia sumpahi aku
atas nama tuhan ku
yang juga tuhannya

lalu ia tertawa
terus tenggelam

dan kemudian mati

-moenlite-

[shades]

...just a lazy afternoon... 

in the lines of learning

Am thinking about taking some Mandarin lessons, and even discussed it with my Chinese flat mate (she’s promised to help practice)...but I think looking at my ‘history’, I’d need to really consider before taking the jump.

What history? Hehehe...yes, I have quite a ‘long’ and ‘dark’ record of lessons-taking (mind you that some *of course* were not completed)... ;)



As a sneak preview, here’s some (am just thinking if I missed anything):

Swimming: 3rd grade, I always had this theory that swimming tutors are quite mean...but at least mine cheered (only) when my parents came by :P

Bali dancing: attended once...just for the fun of it hehehe

Karate: twice, every time I was going to go to the next ‘Belt’ (read, was always the white belt level :P)...we moved houses hehehe

Subject tutoring: Math and Chemistry, I just loved my teachers. Gave me excuse to not study at home afterwards hehehe :P

Theatre: hahahah...I bet you don’t believe me if I said I was in some plays when I was younger :P hehehehe

Reciting the Quran: its sort of one of those never ending lessons, even after my teachers (yes, changed teachers so many times) say I’m already quite okay, but as you can guess...Mother knows best :P hehehe (Yes Bunda, I mean it in a good way ;) hehehe...)

Tennis: was really enjoying it....but I remember falling sick (dengue was it?) and needed to do the lessons 'almost' all over again....sigh...though am still a very big fan in playing it

Arab language: got confused...might do it again some later time in life (hmmm that might be around...now?)

English: at LIA, completed ;)...I wonder if it was more to do with my mom's threat that I might as well not continue school if don't do those lessons (hmmm...I wonder why that sounded like a threat??? :P)

Advance Writing: AMINEF, finished that, but maybe only because I did it together with a very determined Fitri :)

GRE: twice, and still haven’t really gone through the test :P

French: too many times, in many different places, in many different methods...and still can’t really speak it hehehe

Driving: I think I drove my tutors (this includes my dad, a friend, our driver and a real tutor) crazy...and I ended up being able to drive...almost 4 years after I got my license. Let’s just say, ‘getting the license’ is not such a big deal where I come from...but...at least I can say I had enough ‘sanity’ not to use it until it came to point that busses and ojeks (and brothers) were not very feasible options for my daily trips :P

Computer: did it once when I was in Junior High.....can't believe we were to memorize all those syntax languages...and now see where technology has brought us ;)

(thought about singing lessons...) those who've heard me sing will probably laugh at this idea...or...perhaps frightened? :P

(thought about cooking lessons) I wonder if God is giving me subtle ‘signs’ with my very excellent cooking-skilled flat mates?

(thought about drawing lessons...) hmmmm...

(am still very much interested in taking 'sushi making' lessons :D) yummy....(loh?)

Piano: (yes as an adult), really enjoyed this one. The teacher was excellent (and patient hehehe ya kan, Reynold? Bravo! :) I even did a recital (yes with a bunch of kids not even half my age...sigh) and really enjoyed it!

Jazz Ballet: this time Fitri was not very determined...I think I had gotten the better of her :P

Kickboxing: was sooooo enthusiastic, almost fainted during the first class (plus the place was just too far away from my apartment)

Yoga: had to quit, I was constantly sleeping....well, wouldn't have been such a big problem if I weren't taking the classes around the last hours of working...

Squash: took several lessons, just needed to find more time and convince myself to actually get to the court (plus actually gather some friends to join..) was really really nice though...

Fitness: hehehe...just too many different places. The best one was the latest place in my office building. The place was very close (the same building, gitu loh..), I really liked the setting, and I took a ‘set package’, with a particular target, plus the instructor was very patient (bravo Lisa!).

Self Defense: this time completed, did the course with a really nice bunch ;)

Salsa: managed half-way, but was a lot of fun ;)

Stata course: (its this data crunching tool) Well, the company arranged for it, so...no way lah...hehehe

So...hmm...Mandarin? hehehe we’ll see how that turns out...;)

-moenlite-

*picture:
Maskrosvacker, Klas Smeby

a moment in time

dilemparnya sebuah kerikil
dan lagi dan lagi
hingga muncul jalan setapak
yang dibawanya serta
dan mengiringinya kemana pun juga

ia sering bertanya
mustinya kah kerikil itu ada?
tapi jika tiada, tak akan ada bekas sisa pelajarannya
dan karena ada, ia dapat menoleh muka dan akan diingatkannya

orang bilang
bila besar jalan itu
maka pantas untuk was was
dan jadi bahan untuk mempertanyakan

namun andai mereka tau
jalan yang panjang dan berliku itu
yang berjasa menghantarkannya
hingga sampai depan pintu mu

karena jika tiada
ia mungkin tetap sampai
namun bukan tak mungkin
tak terlalu yakin
bahwa ia sudah tiba

-moenlite-
connecting the puzzle pieces...

*picture:
somewhere in Yvoire,
(moenlite)

[shades]